Creating our Future Self

“The deepest personal defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.” — Ashley Montagu

The notion of travelling back through time to give yourself life advice is an interesting thought experiment. A more useful idea is to visualise what your future self is saying to you right now. Philosopher G. S. Bhogal[i] suggests “Somewhere in the future, your older self is enviously watching you through memories. Whether it’s with regret or nostalgia depends on what you do now”. What would your future self be telling you to do differently? What regrets might you be conveying?

That future doesn’t suddenly manifest, the decisions we are making each day are already shaping that future. “One of the most perilous illusions is that your real life has not yet begun, that your present existence is a mere prelude to some idyllic future.” Bhogal explains, “This idyll is a mirage that will fade as you approach, revealing the prelude you hurried through was in fact the one to your death”.

We have the power to ensure our future self is looking back with gratitude and pride, not regret. Statesman Dean Acheson wrote “Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.” Each day presents a fresh opportunity to create the future we want.

The question we need to ask, Robert Waldinger[ii] says, is “If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy?”. It has been said that the definition of hell is that on your last day on Earth, the person you could have become will meet the person you became. Anthropologist Ernest Becker wrote “Guilt results from unused life, from the unlived in us”.

The real question is whether you want your future self to be “wishing I had” or reflecting “I am glad I did”?

[i] G S Bhogal, Twitter handle “Gurwinder”

[ii] What makes a good life ? Lessons from the longest study on happiness, Robert Waldinger TED November 2015